A small group of parents, consisting of fathers and mothers, sat close to the fire and shared how they prepared for their child’s funeral. The atmosphere was warm and inviting. There’s no how-to on preparing for a funeral. Amidst the despair of losing your child, you’re suddenly thrown into the pandemonium of bringing it all together; your life suddenly has become a world so alien to you, there’s no escaping the impending devastation.

“The day arrived,” divulged one mother.” People stood in the small church and I could not quite make out that they were there. I mean, I made them out, but my thoughts were with myself and my daughter….how would I be able to last the entire evening, let alone the rest of the week, and month, and so on.” Parents shared their experiences of what it was like from the time their child died to the time they stood facing family and friends at their home.

When we part from a life that has existed in our arms, in our bodies, in our hearts, there is essentially no real parting. The touch, the smell, the last and first memory always lingers. Preparing for such a sacred ceremony honoring that life can be often frightening and exhausting, to say the least. Most of the parents decided to call their parents, enlist aid from friends, and left their children with trusted family members. They admitted it was not easy. Sympathizing individuals may suggest other alternatives than what you have in mind for the funeral. Here are some quick tips that may help you or someone you know experiencing the loss of a child and is faced with decisions that need to be made in a short space of time:

• Take a quite time to think of what you would like at the funeral: a special song, a poem you or your   spouse wrote, and the order of the service;
• Share your thoughts with your spouse and ask him/her for valid input;
• Take some of the load off your shoulder by enlisting trusted family and friends to help with   household chores, taking care of your other children, or running much-needed errands;
• Allow yourself time to grieve (despite the immediate decisions that need to be made);
• Do not worry yourself too much with petty things such as what to wear or what aunt Sally will say   about the hanging flower pot in the front yard;
• Choose a religious setting that you and your spouse are comfortable with.

There are many details that come with preparing for a funeral that may seem daunting and scary. Keep in mind that one step at a time will take you there and there is always someone that can help you through the process.